There’s one thing I continue to marvel about Hannah joining our family of two. Yeah, I’ve posted about it here several times now, but it’s still something I just can’t say enough of: that Hannah is really the best thing that has happened for the both of us.
And that’s coming from a guy who started off…
1. Wanting children (during my dating years a 1.5 decades ago)
2. To being neutral about children (just before marriage)
3. To being hesitant about children (early years of marriage)
4. To putting aside our anxieties about whether we would be good parents and trusting God instead (20 months ago)
5. To finally being firmly convicted that children are real blessings and instrumental to us becoming better persons.
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Point #5 requires a bit of explanation. Back at the turn of the century while I was still living at Lentor, I really enjoyed my time with my oldest nephew Danyel. But I never really saw myself as a person who was particularly affectionate towards children.
That’s very different from Ling by the way. Right from our early years of dating, I observed that Ling has a natural affinity with children.
Case in point: on one occasion when we were shopping, a playful child almost tripped near an escalator and seemed shaken. Ling instinctively reached out to try to comfort him.
That’s not something I could do on impulse.
But Hannah’s changed that. Whenever I’m alone with her, e.g. when Ling’s preparing her feed and I’m playing with Hannah on our sofa, there’s an incredible sense of fatherly protection and love I feel towards our little girl.
And until Hannah, it was not something I ever thought I was capable of feeling.
And while we have our share of difficulties with her sometimes, e.g. that she has been ill for so long and is still on the mend, or that she sometimes traumatizes Mommy by enacting little tricks that Daddy taught her, or that she sometimes does a major bomb before we head off to infant care/work and messes up the timing, I still remind Ling that we’ve very blessed to have a daughter who on balance has so far given us a far easier time than expected.
i.e. Hannah has all her limbs and fingers intact and has no debilitating illnesses, is often very cheerful, is naturally inquisitive and reacts amazingly well to strangers through her often quizzing looks of interest.
Hannah looks like a tom boy.
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I often read online in discussion forums or in news articles about women (and men) here in Singapore who don’t want children because of the sacrifices that come involved with it. I remembered one woman who grumbled that it’d mean less time for her hobbies, her friends, and she just could not see herself having to cut back on her spending on holidays, hand bags and shoes.
This post here is already very long so I’ll comment on just the third sentiment since it’s something that strikes home, being the techno-geek I still am.
Having children doesn’t mean you totally stop looking at new handphones, new notebooks, new camcorders etc. I know I haven’t.
It however just means you become more circumspect about spending. You start thinking harder about new capital purchases. You become clearer and better at differentiating between ‘need’ and ‘want’.
And that I think, if nothing else, is positive character growth.
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