During my pregnancy, I was telling Yang things like “I want to breastfeed our baby”, “I think I can tahan without epidural” (judging from my pain threshold), “I think it would be better that I take care of Hannah full-time”, “Let’s go for 2 kids”, etc etc.
Well, for starters, I discovered that my poor breasts did not produce sufficient milk (btw, size does not matter ok). Duh. On the day of delivery, I couldn’t bear with the pain of contractions for more than er, 15 minutes? So gotta ask for epidural. And boy, it was such a pain-relief. I could actually take a little nap during the contractions! :) I salute those so many women who had to endure the pain of childbirth during pre-epidural days.
I had the mind of taking care of Hannah myself until sometime into her 3rd month. During the initial period of adjustment to a different lifestyle, e.g. feeding, burping, changing diapers, bathing, playing with her and putting her down to sleep, everything was a new learning experience and though I was endlessly tired, I didn’t really mind caring for her full-time.
It was only when things started to settle down to a predictable routine did I start to feel bored and somewhat down. Don’t get me wrong, Hannah is worth every bit of my time and attention. However, I feel rather detached from the world out there. Work, however much I complained about it before, seems to have its attraction to me lately. May be it is the intellectual stimulation at work that I’m missing. Or perhaps it is the society at large that’s missing. After all, I have studied and worked for like 30 years before a total change of lifestyle took place.
I told Yang recently about how I felt about the absence of work and the guilt of the possibility of not spending more time with Hannah during her early years of foundation. I asked myself what Hannah would really miss if I were to go back to work. Will she be worse off than other babies who have their mothers as stay-at-home-mums?
So here comes the question: How can I strike a balance before I go mad (Okay, that’s sounds a bit strong. Say, my neurones slowly deteriorate?)?
Probable scenarios after Hannah’s first 6 months of life:
Option 1: Take a few more months of no-pay leave and then return to work full-time.
Option 2: Work part-time, i.e. work half-day (while Hannah is cared for by someone else) and mother half-day.
Option 3: Put Hannah in the care of someone else full day and return to work full-time.
The ‘someone else’ could be Yang’s parents, infant care centre or a domestic helper. Currently, we’re leaning more towards the infant care centre option due to reasons cited by Yang in his earlier posts.
Sanity aside, it would also be better that I continue to help to bring in some income for the family according to darling’s prudent financial planning. Ya.
I worry too that I might be myopic in my outlook. So ya, I’d love to hear opinions from others on the issues of childcare, if any. :) Thanks.
You are never a part time mum!!! Even when you are at work, you will still think about your dear kids!! If I were you, I will do, option 1 till Hannah is 18 months when she can be left in a childcare,(option 2) then work 3/4 loads. Then on the day I do not need to report to school, I will clean the house!!
If I can find someone very reliable then, I will opt for option 3.
Anyway, you can sign Hannah up for gym classes, Little Neuro Tree, Shichida, running to these classes will keep you so super busy that you will not feel the lack of intellectual stimulation, Anyway, by the time she turns 6 months, you can play chef and cook different things to teach her to eat! That needs lots of brain juice and creativity!
Hi Wenyi,
Thanks for sharing again :D
The thing about 3/4 load is that my boss can’t guarantee one-day off from my time-table. The most I can get is no CCA.
Ya, i’m sure i’ll step out of ‘boredom’ soon when something new comes along the way like what you mentioned about planning for her solid foods. Hee hee. :)
Speaking from my own experience here in the States, one nice thing about the daily childcare centre (when she’s old enough) is that it grants the child a lot of social interaction and has the benefit of introducing a group-oriented routine on a daily basis. Speaking solely for myself, as an only-child raised by a single working mother and looked after during the weekdays by my great aunt, I had little to no experience with such routines and, when the first day of Kindergarten rolled around, little Matthew was scared $@*#-less! I don’t know that I’d have enjoyed it at the time, but looking back I wonder if a little more exposure to social group-routine might not have made things easier for me.
In any event, I’m sure it will work out, no matter what you and Yang eventually come to decide.
The interaction with other kids is really a plus point where childcare centre is concerned. :) Ya, who knows that we might be sending her to childcare centre when she’s old enough too.
Hey,
We used to have a part-time helper who would come and clean our home once a week. She was from my mother’s church, so very reliable. No worries of theft, etc. She stayed about 3-4 hours each time. Can consider it as another option if you want more time to do other things instead of housework. :)
Hi Doreen,
Will keep that option in mind too. Thanks ya :)