This is an introduction to the philosophy of Positive Discipline and its advantages. Its ideas are based on the works of Alfred Adler and his colleague Rudolf Dreikurs. Adler believed that human behaviour is stemmed from our desire for belonging, significance, connection, and worth, which is influenced by our early decisions about ourselves, others, and our world.<\/p>\n Positive Discipline is not the same as conventional discipline. If our methods of discipline include yelling, lecturing, spanking and issuing threats, we belong to the conventional type. (Okay, here comes the paradigm shift for those of us who are brought up by conventional discipline) Positive Discipline does not advocate punishment<\/strong> –\u00a0the argument is that no matter how effective the punishment may seem at the moment, it does not create the long-term learning and valuable social and life skills parents truly want for their children. Rather, punishment could create rebellion and resistance in our children. It only makes a challenging situation worse, inviting both adults and children to plunge headfirst into power struggles.<\/p>\n The principles of Positive Discipline are targeted to help parents and care-givers alike build a relationship of love and respect with their child and would help both solve problems together in the long run. The building blocks <\/strong>of Positive Discipline include:<\/p>\n The authors of the book also listed down 4 basic needs<\/strong> a young child has from his earliest moments with his family:<\/p>\n If the above needs are met, the child would become a competent, resourceful and happy person<\/span>.<\/p>\n One interesting point was made under the need for ‘social and life skills’. The books says that a child’s true self-esteem does not come from being loved, praised, or showered with goodies – it comes from having skills<\/em>. Okay, that means that\u00a0we should\u00a0let go at appropriate junctures to allow the\u00a0kid learn new skills (e.g. feeding himself, squirt shampoo out of the bottle, putting shoes on, climbing up the stairs) so that he could become competent and capable. Parents must provide the necessary supervision, of course.<\/p>\n There are 8 methods<\/strong> for implementing Positive Discipline:<\/p>\n The first chapter also discussed the use of ‘Time-outs’<\/strong> as a disciplinary tool. I find it useful to know that time-outs shouldn’t be used with children below 3 or 4 years old. This is because until children reach the age of reason<\/strong> around 3 years old, supervision <\/em><\/strong>and distraction<\/em><\/strong> are the most effective parenting tools<\/span>. If using time-outs on older kids, it should not be used as a punishment, but rather as a means to allow them to calm down, catch their breath, and work with you\u00a0 to solve the problem later. Time-outs are also useful for adults to calm down and think clearly as well.<\/p>\n When our children ‘don’t listen’ to us, it could be due to the following reasons:<\/p>\n Finally, any effective parenting tool must be used in an atmosphere of love, unconditional acceptance and belonging so that the child can fare better.<\/p>\n Whew, that’s chapter 1 in short :)<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" I picked this book because of the title ‘positive discipline’. This book is meant for parents, care-givers and preschool teachers dealing with children aged 3-6. Hannah\u00a0has\u00a0just turned two but time flies really quickly for parents\u00a0(that’s how I felt) and I\u00a0better<\/p>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/www.chekyang.com\/musings\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/07\/Jacob-Ballas-outing-touch-me-not-online.jpg\" "\\"Jacob")
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