I’ve been having bad dreams lately. They were not just those upsetting kind of dreams but lucid ones. My mind was fully awake during the dreaming and I had control over my own character in the dreams. I could also decide whether to stop dreaming and wake up or continue along with the dream. In one dream, I screamed at a peeping Tom outside my parents’ house and that woke Yang up. In another, more than 50% of my students failed their O level exam.
My immediate response to such unusual phenomenon was to recall whether I had ingested anything new lately that might upset my well being. As much as I have suspected, my fish oil supplement was likely the culprit. According to available information on the Internet, fish oil and certain medication could have unpleasant side effects, including lucid dreaming. I stopped taking my fish oil capsule for a day and thankfully the bad dreams didn’t come back. Today, I took my supplement earlier in the day in hope that the effects would be diluted by the time I turned in.
I confess that I have been less careful over what I popped into my mouth for this pregnancy. I used to abstain from coffee (like totally) and tea (90% of the time). For no. 2, I took occasional sips of coffee from Yang’s cup on weekends and drink decaffeinated coffee (which is not 100% caffeine-free) once or twice weekly. I also take about 2 cups of tea weekly. Ya, I’ve not been a good girl. But coffee is my comfort drink and I’ve been stressed at work…
Raising a boy
I’m so used to raising a girl and now I’m apprehensive over the task of raising a boy. How ah? Act tough? Play rough? What if he prefers to play with dolls and soft toys? *faint*
2nd child syndrome
I think I would be less anxious and paranoid over every minute detail for our 2nd child. But would I care less and expect less for no. 2? Would my capacity for love diminish after no. 1? Would no. 2 be an ill-disciplined, under-achiever? Scary thought. I read some very encouraging sharing from other mothers who have 2 or more children – that while we might seem less bothered with our second child and so on, our experience with no. 1 would make us better-equipped mothers and the older kid plays a unique role of helping to bring up the younger sibling(s). The dynamics of a family changes with each new addition to the fold. And more often than not, raising children gets easier over time.
The value of children
After having our first child, I truly believe that no other experiences in life come close to parenting. My growth as a person would not be as rich without the parenting experience. I’m not good at explaining this but you know what I mean if you were a parent. The untold sacrifices, humbling experiences, evaluation of life perspectives, the ‘flesh of my flesh’ meaning tugs at one’s heartstrings, the affections of a child, the togetherness of a family…At the end of the day, we are richly blessed through our children.