The Theory of Two

For a long time, Yang and I were content with having just one child. My decision was largely influenced by Yang’s perception of my ability to manage another kid. Other minor reasons include my age (higher risk of conceiving a baby with Down Syndrome) and stretching our finances.

But time has a way of changing minds.

As Hannah grew up, we noticed that she gravitate towards other kids to play whenever she had the opportunity. Companionship. She likes to play with her cousin ‘Natasha jie jie‘ and talks about it even after the event was over. We started having second thoughts since then. Another compelling reason for me to seriously consider having no. 2 is to allow Hannah to be able to share the burden of caring for two aged parents in the future. A few verses from the Old Testament of the Bible came to mind as I write this post:

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
If either of them falls down,
    one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
    and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
    But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
    two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.  -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (NIV)

According to one commentary, this section emphasizes on the “obvious benefits of companions. The intimacy and sharing of life brings relief for the problem of isolation and loneliness. A companion can offer assistance, comfort, and defense.” Of course, this can also apply to life partners such as husband and wife. Okay, I’m going to pretend that I did not see that ‘cord of three strands’. :) Three kids! No kidding?!

Now that God has granted a no. 2, we are hoping that the baby would be a girl. Well, I know it is terrible planning on our part. We chose Hannah’s primary school based on the assumption that we were not going to have any more children. Her targeted primary school is an all girls’ school. And we have bought a new property within 1 km of that school. So, if no. 2 is a boy, he might have to be enrolled into a less than ideal primary school near our new home. Not fair right? Sigh. He could enroll into daddy’s reputable primary school but that would mean traveling long distances every school day for SIX YEARS! Argh. “Lord, please let the baby be a girl.” Hee hee :)

7 Comments to The Theory of Two

  1. karmeleon says:

    You already prayed . Haha. So have faith.

    Our kids all went to popular all- girl and all- boy schools via balloting !!!

  2. Theresa says:

    Hi Ling

    Thanks for sharing your thoughts. That was indeed insightful and especially, I believe I am about your age too and my girl is just one year younger than yours. I also have been thinking a lot about having a second one but we are constrained by our ability and financial constraint.

    Whatever your desire is, God has great plans for you!!!

  3. CY says:

    Hi Theresa; thanks for the well-wishing. I should add too that beyond the practical advantages of to Hannah and parents of having a second child, Hannah has been such a joy that I really think now that children are real blessings, and hence the desire to have one more. I now have to get prepped for the fact that if it’s another girl, I’ll get overwhelmed and potentially outvoted by the three ladies on everything in the house now.:)

  4. Ling says:

    Hi Theresa,

    You’re welcomed.

    No. 2 or not, I think it is important that both husband and wife share a common understanding and belief.

    Well, now that I’m pregnant with all its glories (aka morning sickness), I wonder what I’m getting myself into again. Hee hee. I’m such a weak creature. :)

  5. Theresa says:

    Hi CY, Ling

    Thanks for all the encouraging words! Yes, children are such joyful gifts from God and Hannah is such a precious gift to both of you. As I have been following your blog for these two years, it’s almost like seeing Hannah growing up before my eyes! Both of you have done a great job as parents too!!! And I believe your number 2 will bring more joy and happiness to your family!

  6. Amantha says:

    There is really nothing so wrong with ‘a less than ideal school’. Whatever ‘ideal’ means. =/

  7. Ling says:

    Hi Amantha,

    There were 2 things at the back of my mind when I mentioned that. Firstly, I wanted to be fair to my children. Secondly, as a mother I do have certain reservations and preferences for the learning environment I want my children to have. It has been said that every school is a good school. But not all schools share the same standard of ‘goodness’ at the multiple aspects of learning. At the end of the day, a decision has to be made on which good school is ideal for our children. Having said that, only God knows better.