As I was pondering over a quiet time passage dated 24th March from ‘My utmost for His highest’ by Oswald Chambers, God’s word came to me regarding a nagging issue which I had been struggling with.
I guess I didn’t really have to grapple with self-worth until quite recently. I can’t say whether I can now better emphatise with those who have this self-worth difficulty but I know it is terrible to feel inferior to other persons. I think I had allowed myself to make comparisons – a silly thing to do really, but the subconsciousness kept telling.
God came into my mind and reminded me a few things He mentioned in His Word before. These things are: “You are sufficient in Christ”, “His strength is made perfect in my weakness” & “He gives me His wisdom”. Upon further pondering, I realised that my place in life is to be thankful to God for the way I am (because He had made me so) and whatever inadequacies I have God made it that way so that His goodness can manifest through my life – that all men may see and be drawn to Him and bring Him praise and glory.
If the foolishness of God is wiser than men’s wisdom, I should give up the struggle to improve my own self-worth. Rather, let me pursue His wisdom.
So let all children of God rejoice in our weaknesses and imperfection for we will be filled with an abundant flow of His grace and miracles in our lives.
Just realised that the website hosting Oswald Chambers’ daily devotional readings has used a somewhat contemporary, conversational perhaps, English to present Chambers’ writings.
The effect is somewhat different from the original writings.
Hi Ms Tay,
I’m amazed at how faithful one can be to God, especially after reading your entry on self-worth. I still feel that at times we are merely living in a self-denial shell, an oxymoron world. You make it sound like making comparison is like an asinine activity – obviously one that I kept doing. I wonder how can one continue to improve if we didn’t at anytimes make comparisons? How do we know if we have reached a “good enough” status? Is it always good to stay status quo then? Do we not want better?
I know these are all worldly desires and living such a life could have hindered God’s intended plan for us. And I understand that in a pursue for our own quests, we might have overlooked God’s greater plan.
I tried asking myself and asking God for His revelation. Isn’t it great to live a life and know that you are living a purposeful life? But I wonder why God hardly speaks to me, perhaps He did and I didn’t hear from Him. I feel that I am just living aimlessly and I must say it’s exasperating to live a life just on faith alone.
I envy the times when people could talk to God just like any other normal conversations. But to speak every night to an “imaginary” figure and to believe in my heart that He really heard from me seemed like an onerous responsibility to me.
Wonder if you have ever notice that I also have this self-worth issue that I am constantly struggling with. I can choose to give up this struggle and pursue His wisdom like what you have mentioned. But I cannot forget that in this life, we are somehow living to meet the expectations from others. It’s not merely an individual decision.
Hi Xueyang,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts with me. Please give me a few more days so that I could do justice to the kind of reply for your weighty comments yeah. :) My mind has been hovering over the edge of insanity for the past few days due to my noble service to the Republic. :D
Thank you ah!
Hey Xueyang,
Sounds like somebody is going through an early-life crisis heh. Hee hee. Pardon the pun ya :)
Tell you what, try getting to know Jesus better. He will answer your needs and walk you through life’s struggles. Ya, i know this is really so cliche lor but i think that it is precisely the lack of a close relationship with God that affects other areas in our lives. (sorry ah, i think i sounded like preacher here)
Have you had a personal encounter with God yet? If not, you’re in trouble. (Oh dear, why did i sound so catastrophic?!) Anyway, if you haven’t, seek until you find Him! Don’t give up. Keep on reading and talking to Him. (Now, i sounded like a nut case!) Just keeping trying until your modem is connected to His world wide web :D Ya.
About making comparisons, there’s nothing bad in it really unless it produces negative thoughts and / or feelings that dishonour God. The Lord calls us to be excellent in all things. Be the best with all that God has blessed and made you – your virtues, talents, charm (hee hee), resources, etc. So please go ahead and be the best IT expert out there – you know, something like that. If God chooses to bless others instead, He does not love us one bit less. Instead, we who do not deserve His redeeming sacrifice cannot thank Him enough. Ya. Say easy lah. Gotta have some hands-on scenarios, yes? I believe that our loving Lord continuously inject real-life case studies into our daily living to transform us unto His Son’s likeness. :)
Here’s a little nugget to chew on: Godliness with contentment is great gain. :)
Haha, definitely not an early life crisis :p. I have had personal encounters with the Lord (am I saved from that disaster you’ve just mentioned? :D ).
The times when I felt that He’s really there were pretty extreme. Or is it that He’s more noticeable in adverse conditions? I just feel that He’s missing out especially during my army days and university life. I actually feel that He’s missing. Blame it on my poor time management, blame it on my continual procrastination. I know that ‘no time’ isn’t really an excuse substantial enough to explain my current state of emptiness.
Nevertheless, I want to know Him more! So rest assured that I am fine. Just that I am a Christian trying to vie for some attention here.
On the comparison matter, I agree with the points that you have raised. I know He loves the same ‘amount’ now as He did last year, and I know that He continues to love me even if when I wasn’t always given the best things that I hoped for/prayed for. Tell you the truth, for every decision that I made, I tried to pray and ask for His blessings and directions. But it seems that even the path that He plans for me are often ‘blessed’ with unpleasant obstacles too. In that case, I really need some reassurances that I know that’s the path I ought to tread on. I need just nod, just a nod. I’m ok with bad experiences. I’m prepared, but I need to know that that’s the plan for me. How do I verify that then?
If I were to take comparisions to heart, I’m definite that I’ll probably end up dead from a suicide now or having a permanent residence surrounded with pretty pillowed walls in Hougang’s famous BridgeView Hotel :p.
The China foreign talents and the Vietnamese geeks are likely to be ten times better in computer programming or technical support. Not that I mind, but I’m just afraid of not performing well enough, in the light of stiff competition for good grades. That’s in the computing faculty.
In the arts faculty, I had problems with the English language. Chances are, the proficient-in-GP students churn out more well-structured, grammatically correct queen’s English than I do.
Life’s intimidating, isn’t it?
Well, Ling knows the following since it’s something I’ve shared with a few times now. About praying for blessings and directions, there’s an “anchor” verse that I always hold close to me:
“In all things, give thanks because this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.” (1 Thess 5:18)
I think this is one of the most important and perhaps even overlooked verses in the NT. There’s a very simple yet powerful mission in it, and its….
1) In ALL things and everything…
2) We are to give thanks.
If I take that verse literally, it means that I have committed my life to our Lord and accept the great plan he has for me. I’ll accept with gratitude every blessing, and “adversity” that comes along, as it’s part of his perfect plan for me.
1 Thess 5:18 has formed a guiding philosophy for my life since it became my anchor verse 14 years ago. While it doesn’t (yet?) cause the occasional unhappiness or worry at how some incident is turning out to dissipate, it at least gives me the assurance that the incident is part of his plan for me, and I only need to trust and accept it with ready thanksgiving. :)
Dear Xueyang,
I actually think that your English is improving, yeah. Thanks to the foundation given by Ms Ng from HSCS :D
I have this thin booklet entitled ‘Found: God’s Will’ by John MacArthur. It is easy reading and I think it might answer some of your questions revolving around God’s will, you know, finding direction and purpose God wants in each of our lives. I just wrote to the organisation ‘Grace to you’ which distributes free copies of John MacArthur writings. Hope that they still have copies of this booklet. Otherwise, I will send you my copy. :)